Pubic hair
I am willing to shave all of pubic hair and stick it 2 my face as a beard! Give me your address and £5 and i will send u a tape of the event!
ROBBERT THE BOLD
callmeback1@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Want my stubble? No trouble!
For $25 I'll shave my goatee off and give you the shavings in a brown envelope. I'll pick out any ginger or grey ones first. Or you can have them for $5 more. Any time, any where, you can have my facial hair. Serious enquiries only. No pillow stuffers.
Stefan Burkey
Burkey@crikeylord.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Selling my sense of morality.
Yes that's right ladies and gents, roll up roll up and for a humble sum (about a tenner) you can own MY sense of morality. Find out what its like inside the moral mind of Karl Mercer, with this item you can find out such gems as 'if you could save 1,000,000 people by dying, would you?' and 'what are your views on homosexuality?' It truly is an amazing buy people, get it while its hot!
Karl Mercer
ima_s3xy_b3ast@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Pride
I will gladly sell what's left of my pride for no less than 1 million dollars. MissStrict.Net
Miss Strict
thegorewhore@yahoo.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Dream Direction
Tell me the dream you wish to have. While you sleep I will talk to you in order to direct your dream. I will further influence your dream by providing appropriate stimuli (eg. dripping water on your toes, holding your hand, and whispering "shh", if you want to dream of a walk on the beach with some unattainable love). If desired, I will tell you that you are dreaming, so that you may take control and have a "lucid dream". I will wake you gently and talk over the experience with you, helping you to rememeber and make sense of it. £50 plus travel expenses.
Joe Shellard
joeshellard@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
I wont do nothing for no one
whatever
fuckall@nothing.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Do You Need A Village Idiot?
Country Bumpkin will happily stand around swigging bad cider & saying things in a yokel way. Fee = 1 pork pie/chicken.
Cletus Clickbody
wazzock@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Hat Wearing
Scarded of hats? always wanted a dapper napper but are to scared of fondling a fez? Look no further for a fee of 12 Sheckles I will wear any hat* you wish and acompany you so that and praise is redirected to yourself. Be the envy of major governments. *No Trilby's
niblet
webmaster@lo-ego.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
How to steal from University Libraries - an insiders guide
At University but can't afford the exhorbitant price of text books and othe learning materials? I CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO STEAL BOOKS WITH CONSUMATE EASE! I have worked in a University Library for ten years. I am bitter because I am regularly passed over for promotion and would love to exclusively reveal flaws in the alarm systems attached to books: WITH MY SYSTEM THEY CAN'T FACKIN' TOUCH YOU! I can divulge: -Where the sensors are located -Why DVDs are a piece of piss to steal -Foolproof tips on stealing computer -Erotic library encounters All I ask is that you tell me about your success stories. Email me now and I will also furnish you with tales of S&;M ecstasy amongst the microfiche collection.
Sean Acon
massivehands@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
BOB LOOK A LIKE
For the scant ssum of 10.70 a hour + expenses, I will come to your house or party or any other function and play out the part of silent bob, aka kevin smith, Jay also avalable. LIKENESS IS VERY GOOD, and any service can be asked for.
bobwantobe
clockwork_god@yahoo.com
United States of America - 15/7/04
Organ for guitar
I will sell you might heart or any other non vital organ in exchange for a nice guitar that is older than I am (preferably Rickenbackers or Telecasters) damage to paint acceptable.
Mark
mark@markymarkland.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Guide to Sexual Ecstacy
I will give you £10 AND a copy of my book if you can help me get it published. It has stickman drawings and everything.
Stef
xendragon@fsmail.net
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
BAD HOBBITS
I will send you behind the scenes footage of those hobbits edited out of the final Lord Of The Rings movies namelyBingo,Lesbo, Ringo and Dildo,) rate- 3 paua shells per minutes footage
Andy Mortimer
aboriginesdream2@hotmail.com
New Zealand - 15/7/04
Abusive email for free!
In return for forwarding me all your Nigerian begging letters, I can promise to send you rude and abusive email, calling you every name under the sun. But then I'm from Pittsboro NC and round here we don't believe in being nice to people.
James Poe
jamesapoe@webtv.net
United States of America - 15/7/04
sex slave
Iwill rent out my Italian flatmate on a nightly basis for your enjoyment and pleasure.As he works in starbucks he is used to feelings of shame and has no personal qaualms as to how low he will go.Dressing up as Shrek a speciality. £100.00 p/n {£150.00 as Shrek].
bobby
jocktamson@talk21.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
sell your pubic hair for you
Ladies. I will take digital photo's of your pubic area before and after you have shaved. Or you can take the photos yourself. Provided they are of good enough definition. Then we collect your pubic hair and I put your photos on the net (suitably posed to preserve your anonimity) and offer your pubic hair for sale. The great thing about this is that you only need to take the one set of photos. After that I can sell your pubes as often as you shave them. Any takers? email me at the above address.
the barber
thebarber_59@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
I will troll a messageboard of your choice for free!
That's right, all i need you to do is send me a link to a BBS you want trolled and i will do the rest. Picture it now, endless streams of useless waffle, strategically placed Goatse and Tubgirl images, all "nettiquette" will be wilfully broken. I particularly enjoy baiting liberals and religious fundamentalists. So, what are you waiting for, get in touch now!
pud
pud@fuckedcompany.com
United States of America - 15/7/04
Wots ur fantasy!?
For freee, yes for free i will make real all you womans fantasys out there...absolutly no charge...
Will
guiller669@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
I wanna hold your haaa-aaaaannd
Man, or woman, I will hold your hand for free. No long term commitment.
DT
hands@davidturner.net
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Ignore me
Bloody leave me alone. And I will bloody leave you alone. Don't pay. Just leave me alone.
hmm
nobunnyboilersplease@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
I have what you need
I have a prehensile thumb. I have problem-solving capabilities. I can make fire. I have intelligence. Use it for the good.
Dweedle Numkins
DweedleNumkins@yahoo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
star trek
I will , for a quid explain any episode of voyager and enterprise, I will not do deep space nine or next generation
thal
its_not@myflat.co.uk
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
help
ladies, I will watch you and cheer you on, whilst you masturbate, travel expense only
manga elk
never@afraid.co.uk
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
be polite
I will, for no funds, hold open the door for you after I have passed thru it, I will dispose of my litter sensibly and not spit or piss in the street, I will smile nicely at you, I will however, call you a cunt if I think you deserve it.
tim the polite of peckham
politetim@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Drunk Bloke at a Wedding
Getting married? need a drinken twat to get thrown out and have the relatives thinking who the hell was that, cant have been one of our seans mates, probably one of that traceys mates boyfriends, i never did like the look of them... well, for just £150 cash plus travel expences me and my mate Rich will turn up just after the speaches and make utter cunts of out selves until you decide we have to leave. your benifit? well, everyone you have actually invited will realise that being an out of order twat at a wedding is a real pain in the arse and all have a good time safe in the knowledge they can go home and say 'gees, what about those two drunken fuckers, i am glad they got thrown out, though they were mysteriously handsome in a rugged kind of way.' or something like that.
Chuck Biscuits
Lardfingerbna@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Shadeymail.com
you all know damn well those decietful fucks at microsoft lizardpeople control know everything you do. so let me do it for you. i will, for 99p, yup thats only 99p (plus a handling fee of 4.01 uk pounds)sort out a hotmail account from my PC, i will then send you the details and you can access the account and use it for your own sleazy ends. the cops will think it was me when those corpses start bobbing to the surface, but i will have an alibi. winner.
Dave Sofa
davesofa@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Snapper
£500.00 plus exp a day, I will show you how to take wonderful and beauitful photographs. From landscapes to portraits on 5x4 to 35mm from Brighton beach to Coney island. I will show you how.
Al
Unknowtoyouboy@aol.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Fee Fi Fo Fum
Requesting the blood of an englishman. Be he alive or dead. Inhouse bone grinding.
Mc Friggit
youShouldBeAshamedOfYourSelf@yourAge.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
transporter
i will transport any package any where, by bike or van no question asked. no names wanted. 7 ton van limit max. coat dependent on pacakage size and distance.
eskullhead
eskullhead@aol.cm
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
No more Heros anymore?
Ever wondered what happens to action heros after they fade away and become unpopular? well the answer is I take them! yes i have the largest collection in the world. But some little bastered got spiderman and the increadable hulk before me. I am willing to give away the red teenage hero turtle or the geeky power ranger in exchange for any information that would lead to their capture.(if my request is met with swiftly i will throw in a couple of the realy annoying poke'mon.
Tom Blaxland
tom_blaxland@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Travel back in time
For 100 galactic credits per trip, I will - Travel back in time in my Police box and undo any historical event of your choosing. Dr Who
The Doctor
thedoctor@gallifrey.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
How to be nice
For £15 per suggestion I will give you ideas about how you can do nice things for your friends and family so that they will like you.
J
j@btinternet.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
EB set
Will sell complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 25 volumes. Excellent condition. £2,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month and the wife knows fucking everything.
Paul
paul@thedale.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Hamster Euthanasia
I am offering a free hamster euthanasia service for your beloved pet. I will quickly and painlessly put little "fluffy" out of it's misery. The actual means of termination is ultimately up to you, however I can recomend the prefered method of 'anal suffication', for best long term results.
Dr Death
DD@hamstersanctuary.co.uk
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
high pulse?
is your pulse very high? I will come and rub the side off your neck, petrol money only
Val Salvo
never@afraid.co.uk
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
worth a wank
feeling sad sitting in your flat masturbating? I will come and watch you wank for expensise only, make it an experiance to share! laadys only please.
Val Salvo
never@afraid.co.uk
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Best offer ever!
For 20000 of a currency of your choice I will hack your bank account and take all your money. For the money I will buy you a fancy gift that will make you very happy and dancing like a little child on a summer meadow. I can also kill you if you wish that instead.
Pilleknull
filurbollar@knugenshus.se
Sweden - 14/7/04
Coffedrinking.
For the lousy sum of 5000 SEK i will drink coffee until I die of a caffein-overdose. If 5000 SEK is to expensive for you I can also drink coffee until I start behaving strangely. (Sugar not included)
Jesper
Ballefjong@pillesnorre.se
Sweden - 14/7/04
GET CANED
For £29.99 per hour, not including travel expenses or VAT, i will travel to a given location, feed you magic mushrooms and do all the skinning up you require. Alternatively I will cane you on any desired area of your body untill you request my departure. Previous customers include Prince's Philip and Harry, Ted Heath, Burt Renolds, Harry Roberts, Pansy Division, Debbie Harry and T.A.F.K.A.P.
sebastian
magictruffles@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Take A Bike Hike!
I will ride my bike just about anywhere! And you could come too!! £60 per day (away from home) £100 for single day trip. I've cycled from London to Scotland; Brussels to Amsterdam; London to Kings Lyne; All over the west country and I know most of London's filthy streets intimately. I will willingly cycle right round the globe (any route) if you can afford it. I'll go alone and send you photos, call you etc. Or you can come too. I offer my good company at no further cost. I'm fairly interesting: failed artist (of sorts); I've been in the Guardian once; carpenter AND I've tried to convince about seven gangster-rude-boys from Dalston, at four in the morning, to give me back my money by helping them push their car all the way to Shoreditch!! (It didn't work, by the way)
Chris
chrisamey@lycos.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Is the wife suspicious your having an affair?
See your mistress in complete confidence that you will NEVER be discovered. I will cover your tracks and put your wife’s (and your own) mind at rest. I will call your home phone at a prearranged time the evening before you are due to see your bit on the side, pretending to be an old work colleague or school mate. Make sure your wife answers so I can introduce myself and then ask to speak to you. We then arrange a drink for the following evening and Bobs your uncle - you have your cast iron alibi. If necessary I will call again the day after ‘our’ drink to tell you how good it was to see you, obviously within earshot of the wife. £30 per date.
Steve
stepmorg@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 14/7/04
Flip Em' The Bird
For a buck, two bucks or a quid I will give George W. Bush the finger everytime I pass the White House (I live in Washington DC) or the hotel of his choice wherever he is staying while on his conquest of the world. For an additional .50 cents I'll flip off Cheney also. Hell, for a tenner I'll flip off his whole staff. Just think every morning waking with a smile knowing you flipped off Dubya'
Zeus
Lewinsky@knees.com
United States of America - 14/7/04
Death.
For the small sum of £5, I will personally reply to every single ad referring to any manner of sexual service, and BEAT THEM UP for being so completely, and utterly stupid.
The Negator
andrew@402kingstreet.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Interviewing
I will ask anyone anything, ever knifed someone?, was your mother lesbian? can i touch your cat? £5 per question £10 per anonymous question, ie: are you single
Mark
am86c@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Teaching sex to young femals & males
I give extremaly good education in sexual life.
Antti Virta
flying_finn4U@hotmail.com
Luxembourg - 13/7/04
tell him
For any price you name I would walk up to that God fella and call him a cunt. To his face. If he has a face, that is.
stanley ferret
stan@ferret.net
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
The Chuckler
Life is a Laugh. Therefore email me and i will laugh so hard i will fall off my perch. Polly James
Polly James
Polly@fsmail.co.uk
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Honest offer...
I will finger your cat for a quid. 2 for £1.50.
Paul
paul@thedale.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Whatever you want??? Jeff No!
If you want it, I haven't got it. If you can find something that I have that you want... you can't have it. Will do anal.
Jeff No
Jeff_No@nooo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Whatever you want??? Ian Yes!
I've got it all. I've got black, I've got red. I've got cancer of the throat.
Ian Yes
ian_yes@yesss.co.uk
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
23 pounds for my sperm
I will sell fresh sperm for 23 pounds. Handmade.
PeteZarustica
petezarustica@isdead.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
I Can Make Just About Anything...
For the cost of materials and labour (£12 per hour) I will make just about anything you can think of, sculptures, body casts, models of your favourite building/car/boat/rocket/spaceship. Size is only an issue in terms of delivery. This is a serious offer, I am an experienced model/prop maker with access to a team of highly skilled individuals, no time wasters please.
Dick Penn
theoreticalmodel@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Tell anyone to Piss orf!
if you email me with your name, tha name of a friend and their mbile number i will ring them up and tell them to piss orf. Free of Charge. all bills catered for. go on- you know you want to...
brian
wokmaker@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Meditation (serious offer)
I have been practicing meditation and yoga for 5 years and I also have a beautiful house in rural Brittany. To combine the two I would like to run short courses to teach meditation and yoga to others. So,if you fancy a week of complete relaxation, make me an offer.
Steve
slloyd144@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Mungo smash.
Mungo smash things. Smash things good. Mungo smash table, chair, lamp. Mungo smash for fish. Mungo smash car, boat, wheeled thing with motor. Mungo smash for two fish. Mungo smash fleshy thing. Mungo smash for three fish, and one for rock Mungo use to smash. Rock named Fleeble. Fleeble also for hire as rock. Mungo smash. Fleeble is rock. Both for $30.00 USD. Or four fish.
Mungo
bludpudle@yahoo.com
United States of America - 13/7/04
insurance job's!
for the pirce of £10 english pounds i will greatfully come around to your house and smash your "car-house-any thing" that you can claim insurance on, this is a 2 week offer only from hummer happyness Inc!
Hummer!
hummer6911@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Rubbish Provider
For the meagre sum of £25, I will come to your house with 3 black bags full of rubbish and spread it over the floors of your house. If you need it tipped on your furniture I will do that too for NO EXTRA CHARGE. Call me any time day or not for immediate rubbish service. 07790 376 256
Gaz
twig@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Personal insult - $ 5000 ONLY
For $5000 I will deeply insult you personally! You tell your weak points, I'll finish 'em off! You'll feel miserable for a long time, GUARANTEED!
Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged
Prelvis_esley@yahoo.com
Tonga - 13/7/04
Get loads of emails for free!!
This is a great site for Spammers!! They should actually pay you for exposing so many email addresses on the web!!
Spammer
gotcha@spam.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Fop for sale
Will do pretty much anything, however degrading it turns out to be, and however much he may regret it later. Hours of fun can be enjoyed simply by filling him up with Pernod, adding boiled eggs, cigarette ash etc. and letting him go. Will happily ply teenagers with drink before stripping naked and risking arrest on a railway platform. Moustache optional, floppy hair included. Price: 1 can of warm Stella.
Jim
james.stabb@morganlovell.co.uk
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Fat and flabby?
For the princely sum of £50ph (negotiable depending on location), I will kick your arse, make you sweat, cause you great distress, but ultimately knock you into shape. A body to be proud of. A head turner. A 'bit of alright'. You will forever be in my debt. Come on you London fatties!
Gary Sullivan
gary_is@btinternet.com
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
'll direct a good script in an cultural movie.
You need to supply cameras and actors. My rate is 12 pounds an hour in pay.
Richard Wikström
info@drastmir.net
Sweden - 12/7/04
Walk across the US
Acutally, I'd do this one for free.
Edward P. Pingleton
eddie_p@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Nobody gives a damn?
I will, for $15.00 (US currency). But not for very long. No Republicans, please.
Zep
pezzz@att.net
United States of America - 12/7/04
FRESH air!
I live in a beautiful little town on the west coast of scotland with so much fresh air i'm going to live til I'm 120. For £7 per jam jar I will post you some of this fresh air, so you too can fill your lungs with good clean, non polluted air. For an extra £5 i'll send you a photo of where your air was collected. Choice of air include seaside air, woodlands air, farmyard air, hilltop air, air-by-waterfall and golfcourse air. An extra £6 and you'll get a beautiful black and white picture of the location, taken, developed and printed by me, fuelled by my diet of fresh air.
eilidh
thestoryteller83@yahoo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Spooning
i would like to offer my services as a profesional spoon player to make thouse night just that bit more special a bit of je ne sais-qoi. from the posh end of polatic to the silver i will make your spine quiver to the musique that only the spoon can bring you desirable track i can play on your back... to back cater weddings bar-miget zfar far as you can go. all the way to old school. £20 an hour
Des Hurt
melxter@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
boyfriend for sale
FOR SALE: one bloke. eats alot, farts with aplomb, scratches indiscriminately & without caring who is watching. makes his own beer. All offers over £1.49 considered
limpet
carolineroberts833@msn.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Short Ginger Pubes 78pence
My girl has ginger hair and is embarrassed about her pubes and I want to put them to good use, for a small cost (plus P+P) I will send them to you. Washed or natural the choice is yours.
jjslappapants
jonnyk2@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Tell you what you want to hear!
Is there something you've just been dying for someone to say to you? Maybe a letter you've been afraid to read for yourself? For the modest price of $10/minute, I'll tell you whatever you want to hear, as eloquently or as brusquely as you like. For safety purposes, I cannot say things to third parties, as this has occasionally led to violence. The same principle applies to saying things in the presence of others, but will be determined on a case-by-case basis. Phone is the standard method of service, but if you're willing to travel to me I can say things in person as well. Don't let this once-in-a-lifetime offer pass you buy! Where else will you hear the things that need to be said?
esomas
esomas@hotmail.com
United States of America - 12/7/04
Instant Happyness
are you depressed,find it hard to smile in the afternoon or early in the morin'? well us here at the Hummer Happyness Inc. have the perfect package for you, for just 10 english pounds w'll send you a normal A4 sized envlope with all the happyness you need 2 get you thoroght the week! (cards checks and pay pal accepted) 15 happy customers so far! we can't be wrong can we :)
Hummer!
hummer6911@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Easy-cum-easy-go sperm for sale
Me and my friend are both looking to sell our healthy sperm to those in need or just for fun. Male 1 27 yrs, blonde hair blue eyes, 5'10 post grad in environmental sci. male 2 24 yrs brown hair blue eyes, 6'2 jrn doctor Sperm is going at $25, 10 uk per 5 ml plus p&;p.freshness guaranteed,no time wasters. Availability depending on demand.
kenneth bennett
drkennethbennett@yahoo.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
BE A ROCK
Fleeble sit in house, fleeble be a rock. Heat fleeble, freeze fleeble, fleeble not care, fleeble a rock. Fleeble hold down paper real well too. Fleeble also good to tape notes too, and then throw window. Fleeble a rock. Fleeble be rock for YOU! Rock rock on!!! Fleeble cost 45$ (american), plus shipping and handling. HAVE FLEEBLE ROCK YOU WORLD TODAY! But wait, there more. Fleeble bring Mungo, Mungo find walls, and knock them down. ROCK AND WALL!
Fleeble
velut@velutluna.org
United States of America - 12/7/04
A Higher Calling
All this sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll failing to satisfy? When you're down to your last brass tack having f*cked, snorted and bashed your way through all the other offers herunder, send it to me. In return for your last brass tack, I will sell you my lottery secret: so far I am thousands of pounds better off using my simple yet effective system. Then you can skip merrily into the sunset, your journey of filth and depravity firmly behind you, as your new-found faith in the inherent goodness of man carries you cloud-like into a bright and more prosperous future. Seriously.
m&c
musicandchips@yahoo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING
And i'm skint so the right price could be a tenner if you're lucky! Make some suggestions. Girls only!!
dave
metroarea@pachamail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Kiss my shades
i would like to offer my services as a wild badger trapped in your house. i will hide from you and evade your attempts of capture. basic rate £5/hour. i will also soil myself for a small charge when particularly frightened or if cornered.afterward we could play twister or whatever im cool.alternatively i could visit you and sing the badger song til you're bored. ill do this for £5 upfront and ill donate the cash to weebl.thanks for your time.
GarageRoof
seemyvest2002@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
slap me
I've got four weeks to raise £800 for a trip to thailand, and absolutley no talent for making money whatsoever. for just £10 I will let you slap the shit out of me. 80 good kickings later and I'll be on my way. no time wasters please.
Tim
myownbadself@aol.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Attention losers....
Are you a sad bastard with few/no friends? Are you afraid that when you die no one will care? For the small fee of 2'017 red smarties, I will come to your funeral, sob loudly and inform everyone that you were "Too good to go". For an additional 83 smarties, I will write and read an eulogy, proclaiming your greatness, and for an extra 97, I will leap into your freshly dug grave shouting "I can't continue without you." No time waters. If you are being cremated, disregard the last offer.
Chris
Yourmum@yourhouse.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Take hard core photos of you
For just £50.00 I will come around to your house and take hard core photos of you. No limits as what I will shoot. Come on girls try me and get those photos you really want. Bob
Bob
photoerotica3@yahoo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Meaning of Life
Do you seek the meaning of life? do you want to know the answer to the question that has baffled humans since the dawn of time? You wanna know the meaning of life, I have the answer £15 and its yours too. Students £14.99 buy one get one free OAP specials, seeing as you are close to finding out anyway, you can buy for £6.99. Hurry while stocks last!!
Glenn Atkins
glenn-atkins@lycos.co.uk
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
the notion of contentment
i will sell you, for £12, the feeling of contentment that can only come when you have paid £12 and received value for money.
simon
simon.howat@amc.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
for £50 i would jump off the roof of my house and film it 4 ure amusement.
furthermore, if any girl is looking 4 a bit of fun i will provide this 4 the sum of £25. SPECIAL OFFER. if u want both pay me £50 and i will provide the fun for free
halfer
noemail
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Petkicker
I you are bothered with you pet but have a hard time abusing animals, I will gladly come and kick your dog/cat/whatever for only 50SEK. I'll do it in Denmark too.
Ned
hulken4@hotmail.com
Sweden - 12/7/04
No more voices in your head.
Do you suffer from voices in your head? Of course you do. But for £10, I'll put voices in a box. Just tell me what you hear, I'll say them into a box and seal it. Now you can be assured of no more voices in your head as they will all be sealed in a box.
James
funkgroover@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Milky milky
I'll eat 700lbs of cheese in half an hour and then chuck it up all ov eryour floor, for free (cheese not incuded in price)
Karen Kodface
karen@kodface.net
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Heartburn Monitor
I will test foods for side affects. Gastroenteritis a speciality. No dog food, please. POA, based on your proposed menu.
hot belly luke
rubb1sh@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
Fresh Glass of orange juice
For only 50 Euro's and travel expenses. I will come to your house and make you a glass of fresh orange juice before you wake up. Leave a key under your doormat and tell me the time you wake up. Oranges and Orange Press not included.
Hans
hard_beatzNOSPAM@hotmail.com
Netherlands - 12/7/04
Bangers
Ill send you quality pics of my bangers for a good price and believe me they are a handfull must be seen to be believed one owner Stevenage bird xx
stevenage
stevenagebird@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
ANYTHING!!!!!!!
I will think about doing anything for the right price - JUST ASK :) Im a girl - have access to a boy... be creative
giver
mesofunny2001@yahoo.com.au
Cultural Filming
Australia - 12/7/04
male man named stu
handsome man in bristol called stu will do nething for ur pleasure be it sex or violence
rodney
rodney_is_king@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
Very Small Car Persuasion
For the sum of £1,000.00 I will attempt to persuade anyone that I hold a very tiny car in my hand Car not supplied but will travel For an extra £50.00 will make a very quiet whirring sound which I will attribute to the small car in my hand
TigerPC
demolay777@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
Free advice
Sample included
Advisor
Never-give-out-your-email-address-@the.internet
Canada - 11/7/04
Conscience - Good and/or Bad for Sale
For the mere price of a place to stay, food, and a negotiable sum of spending money every month, you can have me as your very own conscience. I can work as your good side, your bad side, or even both! We'll sit down and work out what you think is right and what you think is wrong, and I'll be there, influencing your actions, giving you the good and/or the bad way to go, as per your choice. You'll never have to think your way through moral quandries again! I'll do it for you! You just have to choose right or wrong! How can you lose with a deal like that?
Daniel
octarineblues@gmail.com
United States of America - 11/7/04
Save Money On Bills
Send me £5 and I will tell you how you can save money on the following items: Electric Bills Gas Bills Motering Costs Food Bills
Anders
ILikethefeelofRain@Hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
guide book
i will be happy to send anyone at all (exept people from uruguay) a free guidebook on almost anything, as in the mindd of a 15 year old pisshead.. experience and satiafaction guaranteed
Boss Matsumoto
wokmaker@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
for FREE
for NOTHING i would tell anyone you don't like to FUCK OFF
wedgie
wedgie@rt.nl
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
Professional Slapping
Have a bad kid? Annoying mother-in-law? Girlfriend getting high and mighty? Email me the address and description of the person you want me to slap the shit out of, and for 5 bucks, I'll do it. HARD! Ill slap the taste out of anyone's mouff for only 5 bucks, so don't delay, I need the cash, and you need some vengance!!!
joeschlocker
noemail
United States of America - 11/7/04
i will do just about most things for £50..... bargain
HAPPY SI
www.Captainsi@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
Abusing Marine Life
Have you ever wondered what it might be like to call a prawn a twat? Perhaps you'd like to urinate in the eyes of a dolphin, or even attempt to execute complicated judo techniques on a shark. If you've ever dreamed of doing any of these things and have a fear of salt water or creatures that can't walk on dry land, then get in touch with me. For a packet of peanut M&Ms;, I will insult, abuse, and even fight the water-based lifeform of your choice. For an additional packet of supermarket-brand crisps, I will photograph my victim staring sadly into the middle-distance.
Neon
ibogainecoma@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
If you're shit
For £10 show me what you can do and I'll tell you if you're shit. You don't know me, I won't lie. Will travel (+expenses)
al
alec_jr@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 10/7/04
Stare Your Pets Out
Professional, curteous service provided. For ten Earth pounds for cats and fifteen for dogs I will come to your house and stare your loving pet out. If you come up with more money or just give me things I'll hypnotise them and make them do embarrassing acts.
Paul Browne
paul@thedale.com
United Kingdom - 10/7/04
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