I wish to create a piece of performance art
To be called 'Give Me Ten Million Pounds'. You give me the money- I require the money. With the money, I will be an artwork of normality with wealth forever more. The performance will end as my life does.
P
sandarspaul@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 21/8/08
I would like for everyone to send me their loose change. Regardless of how little or much it may be.
I want to see how many people would send me their loose change. They can send me anykind of loose actual money. I would like it to come from all over the world to see what the diferent types of money looks like. My address is
Michael Carron
6199 W. Galloway Chapel Rd.
Williamsport, Indiana 47993
I don't not pay any postage.
So please help me out with this endevor.
Michael C
carronmikal@yahoo.com
United States of America - 11/7/08
Free whining!
For the low, low price of absolutely nothing, I will whine at you about how I have no money and no job until you hire me to do something artistic (painting, making stuff, etc) for money.
Steve
jslanasa@mac.com
United States of America - 10/7/08
An apology to southerners (in USA) for insulting them and offer of repayment
I recently made a comment in front of a large group of people that Southerners were stupid, backward, and ignorant. First off I would like to apologize. Secondly, anyone who would have been offended by that comment is welcome to email me. For each email I receive, I will send $5 to confederateamericanpride dot com. If you have friends or family that you know would be offended as well, feel free to forward this to anyone.
R
apologyforsouth@yahoo.com
United States of America - 21/11/07
MONEY
Im selling any money 1:1 changing rate of any currency!
HENO
henry@boraros.com
United Kingdom - 14/11/07
dont be a fool give me all your money !!!!
hi my name is lloyd vincent carruthers and i am a scientist. for $199.95 plus gst i will attempt to kill any cat that you desire with the power of curiosity.
this may include
a) showing the cat pictures of curious people,
b) putting headphones on the cat and playing a looped sequence of the word "curiosity" for 72 hours straight to the music of ,
c) beating the cat senseless with a piece of cardboard with the word "curiosity" on it
d) hiring mimes to perform for the cat ,pretending to be small fat children exploring a cracker factory and both having 10 tonne crackers accidently fall down the back of their pants and blow them up, thus proving that curiosity has the power to kill.
i theorise that after each successive test the cat will become more and more agitated and on completion of the final test will most likely mainline a couple of kilos.
my work is rigorous, so value for money is assured, plus mimes are expensive and nongender specific.
if you are not in need of killing a cat with curiosity then i am quite willing to take payment, fake my own death, and go from town to town sleeping with prostitutes documenting the barometric pressure of each town.
salutations losers, this babys gonna make me rich, giddyup
lloyd vincent carruthers
wembleywest@netscape.net
Australia - 5/2/07
Buy a share in my future success
I am floating my future credibilty on the stock market. 100% of the value of all my future ideas will be divided equally amongst my shareholders, the first £1 buys 100%, the second 50% and so on. On the event of the first of any one of my ideas developing into a success, be it a pay-rise, an oscar nomination, a publishing deal, The Weakest Link prize money or a Brit award, I will personally dedicate my oeuvre to your name, in public, with the following sentence:
"And thank you to _(your name here)_ whose dedication and belief in me in those early days helped me to where I am today."
You shall also receive an email from me, notifying you of my official gratitute.
Note - Hysterical sobbing negotiable. If you feel you have a credible claim in the artistic licence of said oeuvre/masterpiece/random act of violence and would like to share credit for the resulting negative-positive publicity - you have my email, we can talk.
The definition of 'Future Success' does not include any future, unplanned event such as conception/birth of a child and/or the resulting paternity suit. Shareholders will not be held responsible.
Will
sillyaxeman@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 21/11/05
Let me gamble your money
Tired of losing money to William Hill? I'll do it for you. Just send me a cheque or postal order and i'll do my best to double it for you. I keep any profits after that. If the bet loses i take on the anger, frustration and despair. 66% success rate. adhumph@ukf.net 08/03/05
adhumph
adhumph@ukf.net
United Kingdom - 8/3/05
Send me £1.00 or $1.89
I want to see how many people are stupid or nice enough to send just one, just one, yes just one, pound sterling or the same in US Dollars $1.89 or in Euro's €1.60 on Paypal. jwheatley@blueyonder.co.uk on Paypal. Yours truely. JJJJJJJJ
JJJJJJJ
jwheatley@blueyonder.co.uk
United Kingdom - 26/2/05
Gamble with my money
If you'd like to gamble but don't want to use you're money, I'll send you my money over paypal. that way you don't have any risk and at worst, i'm the only loser. this is a serious offer for online gamblers.
Dumbass
Brass_Dragonfly@yahoo.com
United States of America - 2/2/05
MAKE ME A MILLIONAIRE!!!!!!!!
Listen up people let's make some history Send me as much money as you would like it doesn't really matter. As soon as I reach MILLIONAIRE status I promise to go on a talk show and personally thank every single person who donated to my fund, AND I will add any side note that you would want me to read off....whether you want me to tell the world your ex-boyfriend humped your pet pig...or if you want to express your undying love for Sasquatch it really doesn't matter!!!!! PLEASE MAKE ME A MILLIONAIRE!!!! YOU WON'T BE SORRY!!!
Make Me A Millionaire
Heinrix_54@hotmail.com
United States of America - 17/1/05
northern irish money
for 26million quid in traceable notes i will throw a huge party in belfast, this will not only rid you of your pretty hot cash but also bring peace and joy to the whole island. only party rule being you are not allowed to sell drugs at it.
andyf
andyf23@hotmail.com
Ireland - 10/1/05
Lend Me Money
If anyone can lend me a large sum of money for 6 months(so I can generate interst from the bank) I will pay you back everything you lent me, hence you wont have spent it so in fact I'm saving you money.
Stu
stumoz73@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 30/12/04
thinking about you
If you donate money into my bank account I will be thinking about you ten minutes every day. YES! Ten entire minutes! Thank you.
Madéleine
vit_oleander89@hotmail.com
Sweden - 11/12/04
Ever dream of living like a rapper?
Well.... instead of throwing money in the air, throw some in my paypal account. I will make sure it goes to a good cause. Promise!
marc loredo
marcloredo@yahoo.com
United States of America - 23/11/04
Something for Nothing?
My Mother always told me you'll never get something for nothing. So I figured I'll offer anyone whose remotely bothered, nothing for something. All offers of something will be thoughtfully considered. I can hereby promise by return post/e-mail/racing pigeon- nothing.
Bob
bobajob@jobs.com
United Kingdom - 11/10/04
Meaning of Life
do you want to know what the meaning of life is? well i'll tell you for just £2. it changed my life forever...
Rory
i_will_tell_you_everything@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 10/10/04
A NOD'S AS GOOD AS A WINK...
...or so they say. For only £2 I will email you 3 winks. However, research into the subject suggests a nod is good for you and therefore marginally better than a wink. Therefore for £4 I will happily email you a nod. I thank you.
HEX
lasthexaudio@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 8/10/04
Buy Our Free MP3s
Our Mp3's are available for free download, yes FREE! But why stop there, send us all your money, or any part thereof, and we'll send you a picture of us for the reduced price of £5.34* Also in this amazing offer, if you contact us through your work's e-mail then we will bombard you with images both pornographic and disturbing in nature! Why Wait? Send an e-mail NOW with the subject : Here's some money, please ruin my life! www.theloungs.co.uk *Picture available absolutely gratis off the site.
The Loungs
rapemyaccount@theloungs.co.uk
United Kingdom - 6/10/04
Double your money!
The third person to send me a million pounds will get two million back Simple. If you dont then pah to you.
Si Moon
noemail
United Kingdom - 28/9/04
I'll pay you for nothing!!!
I will give you money via paypal for absolutly nothing. Why, because I'm a dumbass.
Dumbass
brass_dragonfly@yahoo.com
United States of America - 26/9/04
An Invoice For You
For just £25, I will send you an invoice showing that you've paid £25 to me for some non-specific service.
Fahnn
fahnn@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 20/9/04
Please
If 1000 people paid just £5 into my paypal account you will have made me the happiest man alive.
chris
riotstar1978@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 20/9/04
TRAMP 'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?' (With £100).
If someone gives me £100 I will set up two chairs outside King's Cross station. The first tramp, vagabond or pan-handler to approach me for money will be told 'I'll give you a pound if you can answer a simple general knowledge question'. The game will progress from there with the tramp able to gamble at the various stages up to £100. They will have the options of 50/50, ask the voices in their head or harass the audience (ie passers-by). I will let you know when I'm doing it so you can come along and watch if I manage to procure the necessary sponsorship.
Richard Tyrone Jones
richardtyronejones@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/8/04
Become A GOD!
For the relatively small expenditure of £1,499,999.99 I will erect an elaborate shrine to YOU! (and any friends/family who you wish to be lesser Dieties). WORSHIP will be held twice daily in a FAITHFUL manor. we shall endeavor to extend our belief in YOURSELF as far as possible and any additional "God-sends" would be greatfully recieved. PAYMENT can be spread over 200 Monthly installments of 8,000 We look forward to your deposite of £10,000 and remember: We BELIEVE in YOU!
S.J.P.
s_j_powermarine@msn.com
United Kingdom - 1/8/04
Best Night Out Ever
Give me £300 which i will promise to squander on a night of debauchary and mis-spelling. will call you first thing sunday morning to tell you lies about how I have wasted your money. also children parties and funeral visits, can pretend to be you dead dad's secret gay love interest.
KingdomCum
selfeee@yahoo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 31/7/04
nothing
I will charge Stl.150.00 per hour to interested parties who will allow me to continue undisturbed and uninterrupted with the remainder of my seemingly tedious existence. I, in turn, will allow you to continue undisturbed and uninterrupted with yours. The only interruption I require is an email from you which pledges your estimated hours per month, per year which you wish for me not to interrupt and/or disturb you along with your full contact details. Upon receipt of your relevant details I will issue you with the required invoices. (NB: Payment terms – 100% upon receipt if less than a 6-month period. 50% deposit for periods greater than 6-months with the balance due upon completion of the requested period. Minimum period - 20 hours. Payments to be made within 30 days. 2% penalty per day on delinquent payments. Honouring invoices issued to participants is not deemed an interruption or disturbance to debtors.) Emails dispatched to me covering any other subject matter other than offers of ‘no-strings attached’ non-chargeable sexual activities of a heterosexual nature (note: I am male) will be ignored and ultimately deleted. Non-responders are at complete liberty to go and fuck themselves. Vince Hong Kong vincedoc@mancity.net
vince
vincedoc@mancity.net
Hong Kong - 20/7/04
Rip off
I will sell 10 pound notes for £15.00 + P&;P
Huw
cadwen@fsmail.net
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
Fraudster offers service to spammers
I am a fraud. Do not contact me unless you want to be ripped off. Feel free to send me spam and sign me up to services against my wishes. Based in Scotland.
Keith Beveridge
wreknics@aol.com
United Kingdom - 15/7/04
A Higher Calling
All this sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll failing to satisfy? When you're down to your last brass tack having f*cked, snorted and bashed your way through all the other offers herunder, send it to me. In return for your last brass tack, I will sell you my lottery secret: so far I am thousands of pounds better off using my simple yet effective system. Then you can skip merrily into the sunset, your journey of filth and depravity firmly behind you, as your new-found faith in the inherent goodness of man carries you cloud-like into a bright and more prosperous future. Seriously.
m&c
musicandchips@yahoo.co.uk
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
the notion of contentment
i will sell you, for £12, the feeling of contentment that can only come when you have paid £12 and received value for money.
simon
simon.howat@amc.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
i will do just about most things for £50..... bargain
HAPPY SI
www.Captainsi@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 11/7/04
Stop The Blog
You give me £5,000 and I'll stop bogging on www.macbore.com. C'mon. It's a bargain! Do it for my wife.
Mac Bore
matt@macbore.com
United Kingdom - 9/7/04
Well
I'll give four quarters for a dollar.
Eric Vinyard
eric@moondrummer.com
United States of America - 7/7/04
I will give you 5 dollars.
If you give me 10 of the same currency!
Joe
JoeLeea@hotmail.com
Canada - 7/7/04
I will burn a million quid
If you give me a million pounds (or any amount if money) in notes, I will burn it. Before you think this is a great deal, let me tell you that I risk arrest and a lifetime consumed by thoughts about the value of money and 'what could have been' if I'd taken it and run. My suffering is guaranteed.
Dan, London
dan@modernlovers.com
United Kingdom - 7/7/04
UK Business
Credit card business, one owner from new. 46000 miles, power steering, metallic green. Front fog lights and lowered suspension. Ferbo springs and Hockenheim turbo. Slightly chipped passenger door. Don't mention our French business. $4 billion.
Egg
info@egg.co.uk
United Kingdom - 6/7/04
The secret of psychological pricing levels
£9.99
Tom Steinberg
klf@tomsteinberg.co.uk
United Kingdom - 2/7/04
A pleasant gift of cash through the post
How nice is it to recieve an unexpected letter...and then find out it contains money! Double Bonus!
Prices:
£10 for a letter + £5
£20 for a letter + £10
£30 for a letter + £15
I wont go any higher than this because thats just stupid.
Alun
alung.taylor@virgin.net
United Kingdom - 2/7/04
The notion of contentment
For £12.50 I will sell you the feeling of contentment that can only come with a 'value for money' purchase.
Simon
simon.howat@amc.com
United Kingdom - 2/7/04
Eat, drink and breath
I am willing to eat, drink and breath everyday for the rest of my life (yes, that's right! The rest of my entire life).
I will do this (subject to my standard terms and conditions) for the highest bidder. No reserve.
Happy bidding!
James Elliott
james@rehabdesign.co.uk
United Kingdom - 1/7/04
Refunds
For £20 only you can have a refund. Hurry While stocks last!
Selery Crinklecutter
scutter@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 7/4/04
i will be confused for cash.
if you're stupid, but want to know what its like to baffle someone with your intellect, then pay me money (the stuff that you swap for things in shops) and i guarantee i will be confused by you. amaze your friends (the people you go to the pub/dole office with) and confuse. . .well, me. hourly rates apply.
timmy
timmy@baffleme.co.uk
United Kingdom - 7/4/04
